Call 911

Screen shot 2013-02-21 at 10.01.00 AMAlmost called the ambulance for Granny Grammar a little bit ago.

She was happily browsing the Internet while sipping her third cup of black coffee when her eyes bugged out, then she let out a shriek and fell off her chair to the floor, where she lay twitching and moaning.

I went to call for help, but she sprang up and grabbed the phone out of my hand. “Stop! They don’t like it when you call in an emergency for imaginary people.”

“But Granny! You seemed to be having a fit of some sort. What was I supposed to do?”

True, with her grip on my arm like a vise and beady eyes flashing behind those wire-rimmed specs, she seemed pretty healthy again. But criminy, she’s old as the hills, and when someone so ancient keels over like that, it’s a little alarming.

“I’ll be okay.” She sighed, and the energy that had propelled her from the floor seemed to swirl away like water down a drain. Her grip on my arm relaxed and her shoulders drooped. “I just need… I’ll go lie down for a bit. Don’t worry, I’ll be all right after a rest.” She shuffled off, and I haven’t seen or heard from her since.

Curious as to what had caused her apoplexy, I looked at the computer. Here’s what she’d been reading:

Now I understand. Poor Granny. I hope she’ll pull through.

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